Road Map for Conversational Skills

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Last week I shared the importance of learning the "art" or "dance" of conversation. By expanding vocabulary for emotions, students can more accurately convey how they are feeling, which is very helpful for peer negotiations, communicating with teachers, therapists and parents.

Another skill that should be overtly taught to students who don't naturally "get" conversation, is how turns work and how to keep the conversation balanced. This week I'll share the "Road Analogy" and how I introduce it to students. Over the next couple of weeks, I will expand on this method.

One person chooses a topic (usually I choose, and focus on the student's interest first) See Figure A.

If we are on the same road, neither of us will suddenly leave the road, we will be on the same topic, heading in the same direction. If the student suddenly changes topic, I can use the metaphor of getting whiplash, drawing a sharp exit from the main road. Neither of us will hog the road (talk too much) or randomly park in the middle of the road (provide too little information.) The first lesson may look something like this:

1) I ask John a question like, "How was your weekend?"


2) He answers, "good."


3) I draw a "Road Closed" sign, and let him feel the discomfort that exists because he didn't move his car along the road, but shut the conversation down inadvertently. (Many adults meet the student 99% of the way, asking a multitude of questions, which is not at all a balanced conversation. By doing this, the student doesn't experience the natural consequence of slight discomfort when they fail to "do their part" in the conversation.   See Figure B.

When the students learn the rules/expectations, and practice how to participate, they then have the power to repair these breaks in the conversation, resulting in much more balanced interactions. I will continue the road-analogy next week.